From Our Deepest Despair Comes Our Highest Learning
When I reflect on that fateful day, 28, February 2011, shivers still run down my spine. Tears were rolling down my eyes and a knife was being pierced in my heart and turned at each sentence that I was hearing on the phone. It was a blow after blow in my gut at every accusation and blame that was coming through the phone. It was making me feel sick in the stomach!
In mid-2007, we came across a business partner who seemed promising to work with as a joint venture on the herbal supplement business, that we had started about a year before and had realized that to make this business successful we needed to work with a strong honest partner. I felt thrilled to be part of this venture as I heard our partner give me his side of the vision; multi-million dollar venture at the end of five years he said! He continued to clarify; it will be a self-run business after our initial efforts! I was smiling as I agreed with him to write content for 400 pages on the e-commerce website that we were project managing and developing for him. My heart was singing when he said that we are his family and that he cannot eat the whole cake (profits) on his own and of course he would share the profits with us! Famous last words. We trusted him and his every word.
We jumped into this venture without giving another thought. We didn't know how we would be compensated for our efforts or time. We both justified to each other that when the profits roll in; we are going to be part of that, so we brushed aside the niggling feeling of not being paid for our intense efforts for now. We gave our heart and soul to this project and invested 10 to 12 hours on daily basis for one full year, from developing a brand of 20 products, coordinating various vendors like designers, printers, web developers and even managed all customer queries and consignments. On most days we worked tirelessly non-stop late into the night.
The much awaited day arrived to launch the Online Store! We had completed and created an exceptional eCommerce site as it, not only provided scalability, flexibility, and features for business growth, but it also provided complete flexibility and control over the presentation, content, and functionality of a vibrant online store!
I felt relieved and energized that we have managed to complete what we had envisioned to a very high standard. Little did we know what was round the corner? Our partner made sure that all work was completed before he removed ALL our access to the website and back-end (overnight)! We felt nauseous in our stomach when we realized that his intentions were never to share the profits but to get all his work done (free of charge) by complete fools like us! I felt so betrayed that I didn't even know whether to cry or scream. With trembling hands, I had made that phone call to confront our partner and I knew in my heart that we were tricked; nevertheless, I wanted to hear it with my own ears!
It is nearly eight months since that unfortunate experience. The months that followed have been a major learning curve in my life. Never-ending thoughts kept spinning, "Why us?" "Why did we get conned?" "How come we only get the raw deal, when we have only had well-being for everyone including him?" "How could we be so naive to be tricked by the oldest con trick in the business world?"
From what we have been through, let me say it has not been easy to cope nor understand the reason behind its occurrence. However, one thing is becoming clear that "From our deepest despair comes to our highest learning" I am learning every day. Each experience is teaching me the lessons that I need to learn to become a better human being. I have grown since that experience. I now, do not take words at face value as there are uttered by people, but I use my own intellect to discern and do my own research before believing anyone. My faith in GOD has intensified. Only His support made it possible for me to survive this experience without having a total melt down. Each time thoughts of rage, revenge or anger bothered me, I deliberately stop my self in mid-thought, take a deep breath and give my mind a mantra, "This will pass too!", "This will pass too!", There is some learning in this!", God quickly teach me whatever I have to learn from this experience". This way my mind diverts from the negative orientation into positive thinking. I have now understood that people's intentions are not always of well-being but it's up to me to change ill-intentions into well-being by protecting myself or my exposure. Out of this experience, I learned the "Power of Forgiveness."
This powerful story changed my life.
A kindergarten teacher has decided to let her class play a game. The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates, so the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates. (You can image my bag of potatoes!)
So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes.
The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go for 1 week.
Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags.
After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended.
The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week?" The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.
Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game.
The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime???" My life, following our experience, had become meaningless and drudgery. Each time my innate quality prompted me to something positive, my broken heart would say, "what's the point" "You will get deceived anyway."
But I discovered to throw away any hatred for anyone from my heart so that I will not carry sins in my life time. Forgiving others is the best attitude I took!
I did forgive, (I confess, I have yet to forget it completely). I feel the weight of unpleasantness has left my heart. I feel much happier now than before. Months closely following this episode, I felt immobilized to make any effective decisions. My heart was filled with disappointment, annoyance, unhappiness.
I kept the above mantra rotating in my mind and let go the feelings of anger and despair. One day I woke up and accepted the whole experience. I stopped struggling. As soon as I accepted, forgiveness flooded in.
Forgiveness unveiled the negative emotions and dissolved the negative feelings. Learning to forgive is like learning to walk (again). Step by step now I am at ease with everything and everyone around us. Suddenly the internal chaos has calmed down. Forgiveness has become the doorway to Contentment.
The knowledge of the realization that human being is the architect of they own destiny."
I will be posting some interesting experiences that I have gone through or going through now. One thing is for sure that whatever we experience it's because of our past thinking. Whenever we are concentrating on and reacting to what happened in the past, fearing that it will happen in the future, will actually make it happen. This leaves you in a very bitter shape. This past experience leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. Now whatever you are thinking and focusing on in your present surroundings or experience will be influenced because of your past experience.
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Some of my experiences may resonate with your own. If they don't, I would request you to keep an open mind. My sincere desire today is to touch your heart in some way. My intention is not to make you uncomfortable while reading this article but the contrary. Today I hope that you experience the feeling of excitement and bliss that I am feeling and enjoying while sharing.
My inherent wish is for you to understand what I have understood in the past 23 years. Enjoy these reports and please share this site with your family and friends. As all reports are copy-right material photocopying is prohibited.
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Light, Love, and Joy always
Divya Vinai Shah TSF Visionary & Founder
The Soul Frequencies http://www.thesoulfrequencies.com